s****y
发帖数: 3416 | 1 这文章太他爸好了，适合俺现在的心情。：（
http://holliesquotes.com/lovemisc/notintoyou.htm
He's Just Not That Into You
by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Cut your losses and don't waste your time . Why stay in some weird dating
limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory? Don't
want to hear it? Fine. Here's the answer you're looking for, "Hang in
there, baby. He's not the loser everybody's telling you he is. If you wait
and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate
his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own sexual
needs, you can have him!" But please don't be surprised if he dumps you or
continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship.
He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop
making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We (men) like not knowing if
we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do.
Don't let the "honeys" and the "babys" fool you. His sweet nothings are
exactly that. They are much easier to say than "I'm just not that into you.
" Remember, actions speak louder than, "There's no cell reception where I
am right now."
Calling when you say you're going to call is the very first brick in the
house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid
brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.
He will always be able to play the "friend" card on you. He only has to be
responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far
greater expectations of a boyfriend. He's got the ultimate situation: a
great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not
see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm
sorry to say ... as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you.
Beware of the word "friend". It can often be used by men or the women that
love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm
picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda
hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy
suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I
want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've
already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable -- and
into me.
You can't blame a guy for having feelings. You love someone, you break up,
you still have feeling. Thank God for that really. But having feelings don
't mean you have to have sex.
Every man you have ever dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or
doesn't believe in marriage, or has "issues" with marriage, will ... rest
assured ... someday be married. It just will never be with you.
Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just
broke up with us. I understand. What could be better than hearing from the
man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore ... his sad,
wistful, "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone? It's
validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. But resist you must.
My friends all say I should stop talking to him, but I think he misses me,
and I like that. I miss him. I feel if I stay in touch with him, it will
remind him of how great I am, and eventually he will realize that we should
be together again.
A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants
you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to
do it in person ... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may
miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls
and let him know what it's like to live without you.
Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply
missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you.
Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every
day, not to be with you.
I was seeing a guy for about a month. He broke up with me, saying that he
didn't feel like it could be something serious. I understood and took it
well. He wanted to know if we could still hang out as friends. I said sure
. Now we get together and go out and then come back to his place and have
sex, just like we did before. (But now, we're "broken up.") He's really,
really cute and I love having sex with him. I also think he must like me if
he can't stop being around me. And I think it's kinda cool -- all pressure
's off and we're having a great time together. I've decided that I think it
's fine and I'm not going to call his attention for the fact that we're
actually dating. Except for the fact that we broke up.
This guy is brilliant. He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you,
then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all
responsibility toward your feelings. After all, you're not going out
anymore. It's genius! It's diabolical! He should be writing a book! In
fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to.
And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well. For the
record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around
you." Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you:
they don't break up with you. This guy is seriously not into you, it's
crazy. The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are ... is
how fast you get rid of him.
It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for
much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would
have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don
't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out
there who allow them to.
Hey girl. Put down the penis, put your clothes back on, and go directly to
your best friend's house. Do not find an excuse to stay. Do not think that
because of all the crazy hotness of it all, it now means that you're meant
to be together. Yes, break up sex does seem like a good idea, because hey,
it's nice to have sex with someone you have these dramatic feelings about.
It makes it all, well, dramatic. But now you know. It confuses everything
and makes you separate sex and emotions. So now you don't ever have to make
that mistake again. Got it? He's into the very-bad-idea-that-masquerades-
as-a-good-idea, breakup sex. Over and out.
Don't underestimate the power of sex, even with someone you've been doing it
with for a very long time. Especially with someone you've been doing it
with for a very long time. Breaking up means not seeing them again, which
also implies not seeing them naked again. It might be tempting to forget
this pearl of wisdom, but just remember, it's still called breakup sex. No
one has yet to rename it oh-my-god-the-sex-was-so-good-we-got-back-together-
again-and-lived-happily-ever-after sex.
He's sniffing for something better, and when he doesn't find it, he gets
lonely and comes "home." It's not that he's so into you. It's that he's so
not into being alone. Don't give him the chance to break up with you for
the fourth time. (Even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn't it?)
Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on.
Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult
decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with
is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face,
took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no
longer in need of your company.
Don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away
with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity. Being a doormat
is offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal.
Breakups, I've heard, are supposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean
breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching ... keep your hands to yourself.
The relationship is over. Half the people I know move after a huge
breakup, and frankly that makes perfect sense to me. You're not supposed to
sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago. Fine. Next time
I'm in this situation I'll cry. Stay in bed and wail. Go to the gym if I
can. Call all my friends and burden them with my misery. Sleep too much.
Cry some more. See my therapist more often. Get a puppy. Do whatever I
have to so eventually I can move on.
Breakup sex still means you're broken up.
Cut him off. Let him miss you.
He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get
back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the
fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he
grabbed his coat and scrammed. The part part is realizing that he was lying
to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing.
Don't give him the chance to reject you again.
No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that
person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you
back, these feelings mean nothing.
Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get
it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being
with somebody who makes you feel crappy or doesn't honor the person you are
is worse.
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it
with.
You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. | F**********d
发帖数: 815 | 2 Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will
surely be better territory like toughtough honey? Shit is just too
long honey
Are you still too good for me, for real?
dating
Don't
in
you
wait
anticipate
sexual
【在 s****y 的大作中提到】
: 这文章太他爸好了，适合俺现在的心情。：（
: http://holliesquotes.com/lovemisc/notintoyou.htm
: He's Just Not That Into You
: by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
: Cut your losses and don't waste your time . Why stay in some weird dating
: limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory? Don't
: want to hear it? Fine. Here's the answer you're looking for, "Hang in
: there, baby. He's not the loser everybody's telling you he is. If you wait
: and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate
: his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own sexual
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